Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
