Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
