i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
