Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize