shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
