I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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