i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize