So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
