Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
