Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
