4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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