reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
