If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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