I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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