Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
