forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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