I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
