People in love make me want to vomit
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
