btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
