Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
