its not stalking. its research.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
