I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize