I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
