turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
