Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
