okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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