Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
