She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
