Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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