I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
