I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
