if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
