So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize