I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
