i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
