I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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