He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
