She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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