i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
