I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
