Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
