yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize