I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
