I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
there was a trapeze. enough said
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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