Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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