I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
