I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
