I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
