I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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