I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
