My liver just broke up with me...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
