Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
