I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize