Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
