You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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