Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
