tell your sister to shave her snatch
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
