At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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