Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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