One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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