I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
