he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
