So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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