Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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