is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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