I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
