I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
