Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
