if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
someone owes me an orgasm
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
