Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
