My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
