This is not my ceiling
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
